Saturday, 11 September 2010

Creepy Pokemon Story - Redux!

Thursday, 9 September 2010

#013-#015 :: Weedle/Kakuna/Beedrill

One day in Viridian a Weedle grew,
He ate some leaves and a Caterpie too,
Then a trainer came passing through
And caught little Weedle with a Pokeball he threw.

Now Weedle had to fight at the trainer’s request,
But he was trained in what he did best,
Killing Caterpie was nothing like a test,
He did it all day without even a rest.

They travelled on to the gym in Pewter,
And beat Brock with Squirtle’s water,
Weedle fought hard and became Kakuna,
He said wow, why hadn’t he evolved sooner?

Kakuna learned Harden and became tough,
In Mount Moon, he played a bit rough,
But before that he poisoned Jigglypuff
And trainer caught a Geodude called Sho’Nuff!

Kakuna came to Cerulean,
Beating Sandshrew and consuming them,
The gym battle was won without question,
Kakuna poisoning Staryu for attention!

Kakuna became the drill with which to pierce the heavens,
Beedrill was his name, and he attacked in sevens
Beedrill grew in power and dimensions,
With trainer by his side, money wasn’t too tight to mention.

Beedrill went south and found Butterfree,
A mother in part to the murdered Caterpie,
Bug Trainer smiled in his own private glee,
As Beedrill fell to a critcal Psybeam!

Beedrill, the predator,
Now, without successor,
The trainer lost in three turns or under,
His Nuzlocke challenge was now forever over.

Thursday, 2 September 2010

#010-#012 :: Caterpie/Metapod/Butterfree

If you caught a Metapod and was disappointed to find out it only had Harden, your comments would be greatly appreciated since you totally got trolled by it. 

One of the first Pokemon you can catch (in Red/Blue/FireRed/LeafGreen) is Caterpie. Naturally if you had picked a Charmander you were more than likely burning this thing and it's fellow bugs to eternal Pokehell.

If so, I salute you because catching this thing was a massive waste of time.

Let's examine the large movepool consisting of three (yes three!!) moves. Tackle, String Shot and Bug Bite.

Tackle has a 95% hit rate, so feel free to get trolled when it misses that Rattata who will undoubtedly counter with a critical hit, forcing you to find a PokeCenter to heal the bug again! Failing that, you can make your opponent temporarily slower (!) with String Shot, feel the excitement.

Caterpie didn't even learn Bug Bite until the more recent games and even then you're forced to hold off it's evolution into Butterfree (who is actually useful) just to learn a move that eats berries and attacks ghosts? Hell naw!

Regardless, you barely have this thing in a ball before it does evolve (way to sabotage any emotional connection) into something that learns Harden, insert male genitalia joke here.

Then you barely have Stiffy before it evolves into a Butterfree.

That might be the point where Stiffy's name loses the appeal.

So you've added a few pages to your Pokedex and have now realised that your Charmander (if you chose it) won't do any damage to the local gym leader. So out comes Stiffy the Butterfree...

"My bug will do the best it can."
Brock smiles with his closed eyes, knowing that Rock moves have a 4x advantage over this weak bug.
Butterfree then uses Confusion, Onix becomes confused and hilarity ensues as you are tempted to say "Hey Onix, stop hitting yourself lol"

So Butterfree acts like a true all-star Pokemon and you rethink your position on it, maybe it is a good Pokemon to have and maybe this Magikarp that I just bought from a shady salesman is as awesome as he says.

A shame then that Butterfree goes nowhere but downhill from here on in until you face that bug catcher near Vermilion City. I lost to that guy once.

Time to get some revenge on him.

Wednesday, 1 September 2010

Creepy Pokemon Story!

In place of the next set of Poketrolls (Caterpie/Metapod/Butterfree will be up tomorrow I assure you, perhaps even Weedle/Kakuna/Beedrill too) I thought I should share a creepy Pokemon story with you all.

Some of you will have undoubtedly heard of this as apparently someone is actually making a game (!) of this story.