Tuesday, 31 August 2010

#007-#009 :: Squirtle/Wartortle/Blastoise

Above: The Squirtle Squad attempt to drown Pikachu, hilarity ensues.

In a bit of a follow-on from yesterday, I would've chosen Red had I actually been given the choice.

Instead I was given Pokemon Blue, with the gun-toting tortoise on the cover. Now that made my choice easy with the starter Pokemon since I just had to pick Squirtle. All went well at first as my new buddy made quick work of the opposing Bulbasaur. Now to play the game for real.

A couple of minutes later and you get the obligatory same-type move. In this case Squirtle learned Bubble.

Bubble is perhaps the single weakest attack in the entire game, not just in power but in what it portrays. I'm expected to believe that a bubble is going to harm, much less faint an opponent?

Go ahead, blow a bubble now if you can and see if it topples a building.

Then recall how Bubble in the game toppled a giant rock-snake in one/two attacks.

And you do have to admit those shades were really cool.

Monday, 30 August 2010

#004-#006 :: Charmander/meleon/izard

Given the choice, would you pick Blue or Red?

Some people made their choice based on the cover stars of the game, Red contained the big dragon Pokemon Charizard, an obvious display of power. For those who picked Red based on this fact, it would have been an easy choice to pick the first in the line of powerful fire lizards.

For a while, it would have seemed like a perfect choice, Charmander learned to roast things pretty early and by the time you made it to Viridian Forest you would be spending an extended visit burning some bugs to the ground. It felt good man.

So you leave the forest and turn up to your first gym battle brimming with confidence, that's when it all starts.

"Fire types are weak to my rock-hard defence."
"But Charmander is strong as anything, he's a dragon-in-training!"
"Oh hai, this is my Onix."

So perhaps you beat Brock and feel validated that your Charmander is still the right choice. So you go to Mount Moon to beat on some more locals and are then faced with more rock-types looking to ruin your day. Okay, it's a tough moment but you're still going to get that awesome dragon in the end right?

Then comes Misty and her water Pokemon...

Then it hit you, maybe you should've picked the grass/water Pokemon instead?

Alternatively, look at how Charizard treat Ash in the anime, troll or trollest?

Something I've been listening to recently -- Magnetic Man - I Need Air

Sunday, 29 August 2010

#001 to #003 :: Bulba/Ivy/Venusaur

Remember the first move this thing learnt beyond Tackle and Growl? It was Leech Seed.

Instead of getting to burn/drown the local rats and pigeons you get to 'suck' health from them very slowly. Forget that it ended up becoming a useful status move later on and remember what is was like to have your first grass move be something that literally sucks.

Maybe that doesn't apply to you, this one will.

The is part seed/flower and part dinosaur. Dinosaurs are violent, flowers are pretty. So you get the manly beast below and the feminine attributes up top. Is it just me or does that sound like a trap to you?

Your face when you realise that Bulbasaur's final evolution is the original Pokemon trap, it is also the first troll.

The Concept

I will attempt to prove that every single Pokemon is a troll or has trollish tendencies.

Shouldn't be too hard, right?